What I’ve Learned Consulting for 10 Years
I’ve been consulting for over 10 years and here are three basic truths that I’ve learned when working with businesses and leaders.
- The problem isn’t always what you think it is
More often than not, when someone has an issue – at work and in life – they think it’s one thing because they are watching their lives through their own lens. And because of that singular lens, they aren’t seeing the bigger picture.
Have you ever noticed that it’s easy to give someone else advice, but it’s hard to do the same for yourself? It’s for the same reason: we are embedded in our own stories. We’re the hero in our own lives.
Which means we can’t see the rest of the characters for who they truly are – only how our own character sees them.
It’s the same with situations. We’re so embedded in our own circumstances that we can’t see the bigger picture. So consulting works because someone else comes in and looks at the exact same situation from a different perspective, perhaps a bigger or more comprehensive perspective. Or perhaps just not our own perspective, and that’s all that matters.
Because with that different perspective comes a different picture, which often reveals that the issue isn’t as small or circumscribed as we think, but bigger, or broader – or even something completely different.
That’s the advantage of someone else’s perspective.
2. Not everyone is really ready to change – even if they say they are
One of my favorite jokes is: “How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?” The answer is: “None. The light bulb has to want to change itself.”
I love that joke because, when working with leaders who say they want change, what they’re really saying is that they want others to change. They, themselves, don’t always want to make the change that they really need to, in order to be successful.
For example, a manager may say that his/her team isn’t getting the results they want. And the issue may not be the team members at all – it may be their leader.
But managers don’t always want to hear that they’re the problem, or even contributing to the problem.
I’ll hear that they want to find someone else to blame. “Look, that Gen Z person isn’t motivated. She’s not putting in the hours! She doesn’t know how to write a memo,” etc. While that all may be true, where does that leave the manager? S/he hired that person, so that’s the first issue. And then, once the problems were identified, s/he didn’t fix them.
Multiply that for everyone on the team and one needs to ask: who is to blame here?
If someone isn’t willing to look in the mirror themselves and ask, “how can I be better at leading?” then they shouldn’t hire an outside expert.
Or, from the outsider’s perspective, I can identify the problem and make recommendations. But if you’re not going to work on ALL the processes, and that includes leadership, then don’t expect different results. I’m happy to make an assessment and take your money, but if you’re not willing to really face what’s going on and create change (i.e. the lightbulb), you won’t get better results – you’ll just keep repeating your own mistakes.
3. Caring about people works
I’m writing this the day after Dolly Parton’s death, thinking about leadership and legacy. And while I have an MBA in Management and I’ve spent 30 years watching leaders and being part of the leadership myself, I can say without hesitation that the most important leadership quality for success is caring.
People know when you care.
And they know when you don’t.
If you’re a leader who truly cares about people, you’ll act like it. You’ll treat people as responsible adults. You’ll give them the space they need, when they need it, to be successful or to step away. You’ll give credit where credit is due, for when the team succeeds, you succeed. (You won’t take credit from others – you give it.)
You’ll find kind ways to give criticism that will make a difference, and you’ll be open to receiving (productive) criticism, because everyone can always be and do better.
You’ll put people above profits – which can be hard for business leaders. That doesn’t mean that profits don’t matter – of course they do. But generating higher profits at the expense of people is, frankly, unsustainable. Because they’ll undermine you, or the fragile structure you built (on taking advantage of people) will crumble underneath you, eventually.
The bottom line is, you can’t fake it forever. And the results speak for themselves.
If you really want to be a great leader, and have great people working for you, you have to be good human being. And that is possible in this day and age. After all, look at Dolly Parton’s examples.
What do you think? Do any of these ring true for you?
